I am a bottom a masochist Part 6-12 of 13

Author: ukrubberpig
Title: I am a bottom, a masochist. Part 6-12 of 13
Date: 15 January 2006

Part 6:

Home doesn't feel like home anymore. I can't get used to my freedom. I feel so alone, I long for my master. I sit on the sofa, staring. I feel very confused about what has happened to me in these days. I am tired, bruised, but I have been so happy. My normal life suddenly seems so dull. I know that I have promised my Master to be his slave for three more months, but I have no idea how life will be. How can I be his slave when I have to work? How can I serve him when I am at home? I decide that it is useless to stay on the sofa. It's time to go to bed. I ám tired really. I have got a late shift tomorrow in the café where I work as a waiter. I can sleep until eleven, and I need that. I stand up, I undress in the bathroom. I stand in front of the mirror and I look at the bruises I have. They make me proud. I smile. Then I go to my bedroom.

When I open the door I feel shocked. My room's changed! The bed is gone, the matrass that has been in my cell at my Master's home is on the floor now. No blankets, the same dirty sheets. First I get angry. He has used my key and he's been here without permission. Then I realize that I have given him my permission to own me, so he doesn't need permission to enter my home. The smell of piss is pretty strong in my bedroom. There is a note on my matrass, in an envelope. It is from my Master and he tells me not to jerk off when he's not there, and to obey when he gives me his orders. It is a short note. No affection in it, just two lines, that's all. The whole situation actually makes me feel better. I feel that although the weekend is over, my career as a slave is just about to start.

I sleep well, and I wake up at eleven, I feel much better. I have been sweating, the smell from the matrass is really strong now, and I smell of piss myself. I get up, I take a long shower and I get dressed for work. It's a busy day at work. I get some remarks from colleagues about my bald head. My boss sighs when he sees me, but he tells me that it is not a problem for him as long as I wear my waiters suit. One female colleague tells me I look sexy. I work really hard and when I come home late in the evening I am really tired. As soon as I get in I feel that someone has been in my flat. There is a note for me again, on the floor. Orders to obey. He wants me to sleep tied up tonight. He wants me to tie myself up, and he'll make sure that I'll be released me in the morning. I feel hesitation. I am afraid that no one will come, that I can't release myself and that I will end up calling the neighbours who then have to release me. But I know I have to do it. I can't refuse the first order from my Master. I go into the bedroom and I find the equipment he wants me to use ready on the matrass. A rubber hood, a collar, a leather jacket and rubber trousers, titclamps, boots, anklecuffs with a chain in between, handcuffs of metal. I sigh, looking at all that stuff. Then I get undressed, and I start to put on the rubber trousers. They feel good, really tight. The leather jacket, the boots. I tie my legs to eachother, then I take the collar and tie it around my neck. I guess he wants it to be tight, he won't appreciate it if he'll find me with a loose collar. I try to pull it not too tight however, I must be able to sleep as well. The rubber hood fits very tight around my head, I immediately feel how I start to sweat. It has got no eyeholes, and a tube to breath through. Then the handcuffs. They are open but there is no key. If I close them, that's it, then there is nothing I can do anymore. I feel hesitation again, but I do it, I close them around my wrists, behind my back. Then I lie down and try to sleep. The first thing I notice after 5 minutes is that I forgot to piss. And after half an hour this feeling is keeping me awake completely. I had some beers at the end of my shift and I now seriously have to piss. I decide to let it happen, and I try to piss in my trousers. I can't. It's just impossible for me to piss in my own pants, I try to push, but my education makes it impossible for me to piss. Finally, after more that an hour (I think) I feel how I can finally let it flow. The warm piss streams into the rubber pants. It feels good. I feel quieter now. I start to drift away. After a while I wake up. No idea what time it is. Is it morning? I don't see a thing, and I know that I have to wait. No matter what time it is, it is not my responsibility. I try to get back to sleep but the titclamps start to hurt now, they keep me awake. There is nothing I can do about it. I try to think about my Master and about how he wants me to suffer for him. I start fantasying about what he'll do with me in the future. I hope that one day he will fuck me, I want to be at his feet, lick his boots. I get horny. I can't do anything about it. It helps me to endure the pain in my tits but I can't sleep anyway. I feel totally helpless. After a while I am so tired that I fall asleep anyway. When I wake up again there is still complete silence in the house and I have a hardon. I try to turn on my stomach, and push my dick against the matrass, try to make myself cum this way, because I feel so horny. After five minutes I have pain in my back from the strange movements I make but there is no way I can make myself cum. I have got the feeling that it is morning already, I get worried that I will be late for work, but there is nothing I can do. Then suddenly I hear someone. I hear boots, someone kneels down, rubs my crotch. I can't smell anything because of the rubber hood, I just don't have the feeling it is my Master. But it is good that someone gives attention to my crotch. I feel leather trousers and a leather jacket, cold from the outside air. Then I feel how, without saying a word, the man starts to pull the collar tighter around my neck. Breathing gets really difficult now. He starts torturing my tits. He removes the clamps, then I hear some sounds which I don't recognise, and then an excruciating pain in my left nipple. I realize that he puts a needle right through it. I try to scream, I am afraid. Without any hesitation a needle through my other nipple. Most of the pain disappears when he leaves the needle in there. But then he starts to play with the needles and I feel the pain again, not as serious as it was, but pretty bad. At the same time the thought of being pierced makes me hot. He rubs my crotch again. I get very horny again, I am panting, trying to move my dick against his hand, hoping to be able to release my load. He opens my trousers, takes out my dick and my balls, and he starts to squeeze my balls. I lie there moaning, it is pure extacy being tortured by this man. He makes me so horny. I feel how his hand takes the tube of my hood, through which I am breathing. He keeps it closed, and breathing is not possible. I know I have to relax, I know I need to trust him, even though I don't know who he is. My Master knows who he is, so I guess I can trust him. But then my body starts to struggle for breath, and I try to breath even though I can't. When I breath in there is a vacuum in the hood, the rubber even tighter against my face, when I breath out the air escapes there where the rubber ends, around my neck. No new air comes in. His other hand plays with my dick. I see stars and colours before my eyes. It feels like a struggle for life, a very intense feeling, but without fear, and with an intense sexual arousement! Then he removes his hand, and it takes my body some minutes to become calm again. I pant as if I have been running for half an hour. He stands up, I feel his boot on my chest, very close to the needles. I try not to move, afraid that he will actually move the needles with his boots. Then the pressure gets more and his other boot is on my chest as well. He is standing on me! Breathing is hard, my lungs are being pushed down, but it is an incredible hot feeling, actually being under him, being a kind of doormat to him. He gets off again, he kicks me, I feel his boot on my dick, he kicks me in my balls, then I feel something wet on my stomach, and I realise that he is shooting his cum on my chest. Silence. I feel so horny, I want to shoot, but he doesn't do anything anymore. He lies down next to me on the matrass, hugs me, and stays there for a while, I feel comfortable and at the same time I want to cry out that I want to cum. He understands, but he tells me "Your Master doesn't allow you to cum, boy." This even makes me more horny, but after a while he gets up, I feel how he opens the handcuffs, and then leaves the room. "Wait for five minutes." he tells me. Then I hear him leave. The door closes behind him. Silence. Then I remove the hood from my head, and I look at the needles in my nipples. Quite thick needles. Very horny but also frightening. I take them out, it hurts a bit. I have a raging hardon, but I will obey my Master. When I look at the alarmclock it is 6.30 in the morning.

Part 7.

For days life goes on as usual. I get up, I go to work, I come home, I go to the cinema, and I don't hear anything from my Master. I find this very difficult. I miss him so much. I think about him all the time. I hope that there are orders from him when I come home, that I will meet him again, that he will allow me to serve him again. But nothing. It's now four days ago since I had my nightly visitor. I think about how strange that is, I don't know what he looked like, wether I found him attractive or not. He might have been an old and ugly man. I don't care. My Master wanted me to serve him, I just was happy that I could be a slave for some hours. I am so horny all the time, but I know my Master doesn't want me to shoot my cum. Every morning I carefully shave my head, knowing that he wants me to be bald, that I have to be ready for him. It is a ritual that makes me horny. I always am naked when I shave myself, in front of a mirror. I see my hardon in the mirror. I can see how slowly the bruises of my last s&m session are disappearing. It is hard for me to concentrate on my private life. When I visit friends I want to go home, because maybe there is a message for me from him. The talks about work, about holidays, about other men, it all suddenly seems to be dull. O jesus, I am really becoming dependant on this man. How long do I know him? Do I know him? Will he let me enter his private life, or will I always just be a sexslave? So many thoughts I can't share with my friends, who don't really notice that I am absent-minded. they talk and talk and say that I am such a nice guy because I am a good listener. They say my shaven head looks good, think that I do it because it is fashion. I sometimes wish it wasn't. I wish people could make the conclusion that I am a slave, I want to be slave in public.

I begin to get insecure about everything. Will he ever contact me? I try to reassure myself. Yes, he will. He is a good man, I need to trust him. One evening I can't stand it anymore, I am just so horny and laying on my dirty matrass I take my dick in my hand and I start to play with it. It is a good feeling. I just play with it quietly, trying not to cum, because my Master doesn't want me to. I love the feeling. I close my eyes, think about him, and after a while I realise that I almost cum. I haven't shot my load for 5 days now. He won't know, I say to myself. I will be horny again as soon as I see him. I start jerking faster, I feel my muscles tense, I feel how my dick becomes hypersensitive, I start to moan, I............

I scream. I feel someone kicking in my balls with full force. I open my eyes and there he is. He is furious. "What do you think you're doing?" he says. He doesn't shout, but his voice is sharp and he is really angry. "You're not behaving according to my rules, boy." I get very red, tears come into my eyes. "I'm sorry, Sir, I just couldn't cope with it anymore..I..." He stops me. "Shut up. I don't want to hear your fucking explanations. I want you to wait for me, suffer for me because you long for me. If I let you wait for three weeks you don't cum for three weeks. If I tell you not to cum for a year, you won't. You can't even wait for a couple of fuckin' days!!" And again he kicks me in my balls, really mean. "Turn around." he says. "On your stomach." I do as he tells me. "So tonight you will cum, boy. We're going to do the uncomfortable bondage tonight, and oh yes, you will cum...". It sounds threatening. I feel how he starts tieing me up with ropes. Very tight. The rope cuts into my flesh. He ties my wrists, my ancles, ropes around my legs, then he hogties me. Then he turns me around, I lie on my left side now, and he puts a pair of very mean titclamps on my nipples. They really hurt. He can see it from my face, the pain, and he obviously likes that. "OK boy, this was the last time you have been unfaithful to me, OK?" I nod. "Yes sir, yes sir." I say, trying to please him. "Tonight is going to be a pretty horrible night for you boy." he says. "I've got to learn you that you have to trust me, and that you obey me. You have to learn that you are my slave even if you don't hear from me for a while. Now you are going to cum for me." He takes my dick in his hand and he starts jerking me off. I already understand what my punisment is. The pain is managable now because I am horny. I just know he won't take off those horrible titclamps when I have cum. He won't untie me. I try to keep myself from cumming. "Come on, boy, give me that load, NOW!" he says and I immediately shoot, and God, that feels good. I try to make contact with my Master, I try to push myself against his body, I so much want to feel his legs in his black leather trousers against my skin. He doesn't want me to enjoy any of this and he moves away from me. He sits down in a chair and he looks at me. I try to relax as much as possible but my nipples hurt like hell. I have difficulties with my breathing. It hurts so much. I start breathing faster. He notices. "Breath quietly." he says, and starts helping me by telling me when to breath in and out. His voice stops as soon as I have my breathing under control again. The ropes cut deeply into my flesh. It is very, very painful. "Is it better when you are horny, boy?" he asks. "Yes sir." I say between my teeth. "OK, lets help you getting horny." he says, and sits down on the floor next to me. He takes some lube, puts it on his fingers, and I feel how his finger enters my arse. He touches my prostate, gives it a massage, and I feel myself getting hard again. He takes my dick in his other hand and he starts jerking me off again. The anal stimulation feels great, and within two minutes I come again. He doesn't stop jerking, his finger is still in my arse, moving around my prostate, and I feel how my body starts to reject his finger. I get a very desperate felling. My dick starts to hurt. His hand on my cock doesn't stop moving, I start moaning. "O god, please sir, please stop." He doesn't like the sound of that. For one minute I believe he has mercy with me. He withdraws his finger and he stops jerking me of. But then he takes a gag, puts it into my mouth and firmly closes the leather straps behind my head. "I don't want you to say stop to me, boy" he says, and he sits down again. His finger back in my arse, his hand back on my dick. And here we go again. For the third time in twenty minutes I shoot. It is not much. It hurts. I know that my dick is red. I feel it is not his intention to stop. I can see his face. He is still angry. He really wants to torture me. He does. It is horrible. My whole body hurts. All my muscles try to resist that finger in my arse. The more I move, the more the ropes cut into my flesh. I don't believe I could cum again. It does happen, however. Convulsions go through my body. I wish I could faint, pass out, not be there anymore. I now forget the pain in my nipples, it is not that bad anymore, the worst is his finger and his hand, giving me no rest, forcing my body to produce more cum, and to shoot it. I am so tired, I cry. And again he makes me cum. Five times now. I am sobbing, tears are streaming over my face. He likes that. When he sees how desperate I am he stops. He releases the ropes that connect my arms and legs. I can stretch out. He lies next to me, he puts his arms around me. I cry in his arms. I know I deserved this, I swear to myself I will never ever disobey him again. The thought of telling him to fuck off, that this is not what I want doesn't even enter my mind. I want him so much. I want him to be proud of me, I want him to be pleased about his slave. "Okay boy." he says, "It's allright now." I can't stop crying, I am so tired. I feel his hand on my head. "Relax, buddy." he says. "I want you to sleep in my arms now." He doesn't take off the clamps from my tits. The pain now is serious but I can handle it. As long as I feel him close to me I can handle pain. I feel safe now. The smell of his leather surrounds me. I relax, and within some minutes I sleep.

I don't know how long I slept, but I wake up when I feel that he removes the titclamps. A very sharp pain goes through my body. He removes the ropes from my ancles and my wrists. "On your knees, boy" he says. I do as he tells me. I feel sleepy, my muscles hurt. He puts his soft dick in my mouth. I wrap my arms around his neck, and he pisses into my mouth. Very strong piss, he hasn't had any beer. It's hard to swallow, but I love it. The taste is so intense. The incredible thing happens: I get a hardon. He laughs when he notices it. "You want to cum for me again, boy?" he says. I don't. But I know he wants me to. So I lie down on my back, try to relax when again his finger enters my arse, and his hand takes my dick. It hurts, but I actually am able to enjoy it. He is tender now, I feel his affection for me. When I finally come, it is just a little drop. I scream when it comes, and again tears come into my eyes. But then he embraces me and kisses me. "Just don't do this to me again." he whispers. Then he gets up and leaves the room.

Part 8.

Something is psychologically changing. I am getting into this more and more serious. I notice how important it is for me to be a good slave, to please my Master. What is it, what I feel? Is it love? I hardly know the man. I am just as happy to serve other men as long as he wants me to do that. I don't care what they look like. I humiliate myself for him. I feel confused when i think about how much I am changing. I have tried to talk about it with some closer friends of mine, but they don't really understand it, they don't want to understand it. I realize that I have promised to be a slave for three months only. I know that after these three months I cannot just pick up my normal life as if nothing has happened. I start to think about offering myself to my Master for a longer period. When I don't hear from him for a couple of days I feel unquiet, unhappy. Luckily he quite often reminds me of his existance. One day he showed up at work. I've told you before that I work in a café. I am a waiter on a terrace. He was sitting there, acted as if he didn't know me. He was wearing a leather motorcycle jacket and jeans. He ordered mineral water. He didn't speak to me at all, read his newspaper and drank mineralwater. Several bottles. When he wanted to order something he snapped his fingers to order me to his table. A woman on the terrace that ordered tea said to me "This man is treating you like shit!" I told her that it was my job to take good care of my clients. She must have thought I was a very patient waiter. I wasn't. I just wanted to be on my knees before him. I knew he was watching me. After four bottles of water he told me he wanted to go to the toilet. "And I want you there" he said, softly. I said "Yes sir." I walked into the building and went to the men's room. I went into a cabin and almost immediately he followed, and locked us in. He took his dick out of his pants, I knew I was allowed to take it in my mouth. He pissed for about two minutes, non stop. I swallowed everything and I was so happy. Without saying a word he put his dick back into his pants and left the toilet. I was back at work within two minutes. Nobody noticed what had happened.

One very warm day he showed up at my apartment. I was preparing myself to go to work. He gave me a rubber suit. "I want you to wear this today." he said. "Under your suit." I realized this was going to be a hard day for me. It was a very sunny day. I got dressed. The rubber was very tight, black and shiny. I was wearing black pants and a white shirt with a butterfly. And of course he was there when I worked. He was sitting there, enjoying his nice glass of beer, and watching me working. My face was wet from sweating. He was wearing a white t-shirt, his muscles were visible and he was so damned beautiful. He was wearing high black leather boots and no underwear. He was just watching me, while he was enjoying the nice weather. It was a very long day. The sweat was streaming off my body, my feet were very wet, and after this day I was completely exhausted. But there was not one minute that day that I didn't think about the fact that I was his slave.

Then one day he gave me a phonecall. It was when I had two days off from work. "Tomorrow you will be my guest again." he said. "I want you to be ready tomorrow morning at five, wearing a pair of jeans and nothing else. You will be picked up. Blind your eyes with black tape and stand next to your bed." Then the connection was gone. I went to bed early. Something was different for me now. I was not nervous. I knew where I was going to, and I was confident and happy. I went to bed early because I wanted to be in good shape for him. At 4.30 I woke up, took a shower and put on my oldest pair of jeans. Then I put the black tape on my eyes. I knew how to do it, I knew I would not see anything for quite a while. I was standing next to my bed waiting for what would happen. I heard people come in. No word spoken. I felt how someone put a collar around my neck. It was a collar I knew, a very heavy one, and it was very, very tight around my neck. Handcuffs kept my hands behind my back. They put my feet in rubber boots and then I had to follow them outside. The car outside was a truck. I had to lie down in the back. It was an open truck, I was in the open air. A piece of industrial rubber was wrapped around me. Heavy stench of piss and shit. Obviously the truck was usually for transporting animals. The journey was quite long and very uncomfortable. After what must have been an hour, the car stopped and the rubber was removed. The wind was cool, I shivered. They took me inside, down the stairs. It was familiar. I knew the smell of the house, the stairs. Downstairs they tied me up more secure with ropes. I couldn't move my arms anymore, my legs were tied very tightly as well. A gag was being put in my mouth, a little rubberball. I felt how air was being pumped into it, and how it was secured behind my head. Then somebody took me up from the floor and I was being put in a small space. I felt something soft. I heard breathing. I realized I was not alone there. We were in that tiny little space with four men, all tied up. It was so small, we could hardly move. I felt chains on the body of one of the men. Ropes on another body. One guy was completely wrapped up in plastic. All of this excited me enourmously. One of the guys was pissing now, I could feel it streaming against his and my leg. One of the guys tried to make us comfortable by pressing his body against the others. His leg was near to my balls, he made me very horny. The door opened and a fifth guy was being pushed in. This was the end of the fun, because now the room was so full that we could not move at all anymore. It was warm and sweaty, and not comfortable anymore. My muscles started to ache. I was in the middle, no wall to lean against. I had to piss too. I couldn't stop myself. I don't know how long we were in that room, I think it must have been really long, more than an hour. Then finally the door opened. someone took us out, one by one. I had to sit down on my knees and the gag was removed from my mouth. I smelled my Master's leathers, his boot was going over my body. I moved my head in the direction of his boot, I wanted to lick it, to greet him. I could not reach anything but his sole, so I licked that. He liked that. He pushed his sole into my face more firmly. "Welcome back, boy", he said. "We're going to give you a fine weekend!" Part 9.

I soon discovered that several Masters were staying in the house. They all had their own slave. I didn't know what to expect. Would I have to serve more than one Master? Would we be tortured together, or would we all be in seperate spaces? My Master was standing in front of me, and I pressed myself against his legs. I was so happy to be with him again, in his house. He patted my head, as if I were a dog. Then he attached a dogchain to my collar, and started to walk. On my knees I followed him. It was pretty uncomfortable. The floor was rough, my jeans were wet. I was barefoot. He took me to where stairs were leading down. It was familiar, it was a place where I had been before, the first time I was there, when I still considered it all a game. Now I knew that I was emotionally pretty dependant on him. Downstairs, he told me to strip. The only thing I was wearing was my wet pair of jeans. He then took me to a table where I had to lie down. He started to wrap leather around me. It was a leather sleepingbag. It was very comfortable. It must have been pretty new, because it had a very strong smell of leather. I liked that, it made me very horny. I felt how he started to tighten the belts around me. It took him about 10 minutes to completely immobilize me. There were belts around my head as well, I couldn't move it either. Completely covered now, I felt very safe. He opened the zipper of the sleepingbag in order to get my cock and balls out. There were little holes in the bag, to enable him to play with my tits. Which he did. It was so great to feel his hands. He played with my cock, with my balls, it was pretty hard but I liked it so much, I was very happy. I felt how he started to adjust a cockring around my cock and balls. It felt like metal. Then he put a gag in my mouth. It was cotton, and it heavily tasted like piss. I think it was an underpant or something. He adjusted it by putting a leather strap around my head, thus preventing me to push it out. I know it is nonsense but I thought I recognized the taste of his piss. I was sure it was his underpant and I enjoyed the taste. I was a bit surprised how friendly everything was. Yes I was tied up, but it was all so nice, I felt really horny, being with him, feeling how he played with my balls. He was doing something I didn't understand. I felt how he was doing something with my cock and balls, but what was it? It didn't hurt, it just felt like he was adjusting things. Then he started to play with my nipples again. This time a little bit harder. I loved it. I should have known better of course. He left me, I heard him leave the room, and there I was, horny like hell, tied up, alone.

It was not difficult for me to fall asleep. I was awake since 4.30 that morning and I could use some hours of sleep. When I woke up I lost my orientation a bit. I was blind, couldn't open my eyes, couldn't move. Then I realized where I was, and I felt okay again. I was still alone, but I could hear noises. Somewhere in the house someone was being heavily tortured. I could hear the guy screaming. It sounded as if he was in agony. My cock got hard again. I also was worried. It sounded like he was suffering really, really hard. I knew my Master was capable of letting me suffer that way. Was I ready for that? I didn't really know, but I realised that at least I wanted to try it out.

I heard footsteps. Someone was in the room. I expected something to begin, but nothing happened. I waited. Then I suddenly felt something strange in my dick. Little shocks, in regular intervals. Electricity. I liked the feeling. It started in my balls as well. My dick got hard. Then it got stronger. Shorter intervals, a more intense sensation. Then even more: a continuous stream of shocks, getting harder and more intense. It did hurt, though I could handle it. I liked it. More, more. Now it was starting to get serious. I couldn't stop myself from moaning. He didn't mind obviously, he didn't say anything, but suddenly the pain in my balls became really heavy. It was like someone was kicking in my balls continuously, but the pain remained very local. Then it slowed down. I relaxed, and immediately the pain worsened again. I felt how my body was reacting to what was happening. Suddenly not being able to move was horrible. I wanted to move, I couldn't react at all. I was so powerless and the feeling was so intense. Maddening. Somehow it was lonely too. I don't know who did it to me. Was it my Master or maybe one of the other tops in the house? What was he like? I could smell leather but that was the sleepingbag. I wanted to thank him for what he was doing to me, but I couldn't. I couldn't make anything clear to him. I realilized now that the intensity of the electricity was not changing anymore. Was he there? Or was I just alone, bloody horny, being tortured by a bloody battery? No, he was there, because suddenly the pain got worse. Now it was really torture, now it hurted seriously. I tried to scream. The restraints kept my body from moving desperately. I felt how close I was to cumming. I wanted to warn him. I didn't expect him to like me cumming. But nothing changed, and I felt how I exploded, how I was shooting my cum. I felt some drops landing in my face. The electricity slowed down. I was breathing heavily, I felt how my cock softened. But the electricity didn't stop. "O shit", I thought, and then I felt how he was playing with the button, making the feeling less intense for a while, then suddenly very intense again. And then again no change in intensity, for a very long time. I was alone, the electrodes torturing my dick until it was hard and painful again. Nothing happened. I remembered the time when my Master had forced me to cum time and time again and I realized that this was going to be a hard day. It took me a long time to get that horny that I started to enjoy the feeling again. When that happened unfortunately I came again very quickly, making the whole situation pretty uncomfortable. I moaned, I tried to move, I felt so lonely and I was in such pain. Then I felt a hand on my face. I had not been alone at all. He had been there all the time. He removed the underpant, put his dick in my mouth and pissed. Despite the pain and the desperation I liked that, and my cock got a bit harder again. Now he put another gag in my mouth, a rubber ball. It was secured and then I felt how he started regulating the electicity again. This time he decided obviously not to have mercy with me. The pain got so intense, I was screaming my lungs out, it was like someone beated in in my crotch with full force. Strange enough, it was incredibly horny. There were moments when I thought I would die, moments when I wanted to beg for mercy and moments that I thought this must be heaven. Then he started to talk to me. "You're happy, slave?" It was my own Master. I couldn't say anything. I tried to make enhousiastic sounds. "You want to serve me, boy?" he said. He removed the gag to enable me to answer him. "Ready to give up your job and serve me for good, boy?" he said. No hesitation from my side. "Yes sir!" I said. "Ready to give up your house and be my slave permanently, slave?" "Yes sir!" I said. I was convinced. My dick was rockhard, it felt so good to suffer for him, to be dependent on him. Then I came. I screamed, and I felt how he kissed me, his tongue entering my mouth. I was so happy I could cry. I felt how he switched of the electricity, put the gag back into my mouth and walked out.

Darkness and silence. Not being able to see anything, not being able to move. A great moment to thing about what I just promised. A great moment to realize that I was not ready at all, to give up my home. I was so angry with myself. What had I done? I made promised, and I knew I went to far. I wanted to call him, talk to him, explain it to him. No way, with a gag in my mouth. I panicked a bit. What if he didn't let me go anymore?

The door opened. Someone came in, removed my gag, and told me not to talk to him. He fed me the fluid food I knew from the last time he was there. Right before he left he switched on a taperecorder. It was quite threatening music. It went on for a while and then silence. Then I heard His voice: "..... ready to give up your house and be my slave permanently?" and my voice "Yes sir!", and then music again. And again the voices, and music again. "I fucked up everything completely," I thought. And the music and the voices went on.

Then, after a long time, he came back. I lost my sense of time, had no idea how long he had been away. He just walked up to me, played a bit with my nipples. He didn't remove the gag, he just told me "I know you're not ready. Don't worry. You're stupid and you know it. Now, make sure you sleep well, because tomorrow 'll be a heavy day for you." And he left the room again, leaving me alone.

Part 10

I can tell you that after being tied up for such a long time, you don't really feel comfortable. At least I didn't. My shoulders were aching, my leg was itching and i couldn't do anything about it. I needed to shit. All my muscles did hurt. I did sleep however. I was so tired from all the emotions of the last day. It had been a shocking experience really, to notice how close I was to giving up everything for my master. His reaction did make me feel safe in his hands again. I knew I could trust him. I couldn't trust myself, that was the problem really. Being horny I couldn't make a proper judgement of the situation anymore. I knew this was a warning, I knew next time I made a promise he would want me to keep it. I slept for a couple of hours, then I woke up because someone came in. I was confused. Was it time to get up? Was it morning? Someone took my nipples in his hands and started to play with them. But this was different from what my master had been doing. It was rough, it was painful, I just felt pain, no pleasure. It felt as if someone was releasing his frustration on me. I couldn't scream because of the gag. I felt how he climbed on me, and how he released my gag. He pushed his dick in my mouth and savagely started to fuck my head. It was frightening. I couldn't move my head, it was secured. He fucked my mouth like an idiot, pushing his dick deep down in my throat. I couldn't breath. I thought about biting in his dick, which actually was the only way i could protect myself, but I realized it was wiser in my position not to do so. Why was this happening? Who was this frustrated fool? I almost vomited. I got the impression that he liked that, he kept on trying to make me throw up. I tried to stimulate his dick with my tongue, hoping that he would cum and leave me alone. It didn't happen. Sometimes he put his dick deep into my throat and kept it there, I almost suffocated. Despite everything I got a bit a hardon.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?!" I heard my master's voice say. He sounded very angry. I thought he was talking to me but obviously he talked to the other guy. "You want him to suffocate in his own vomit? Bloody fool!" I felt how the guy was being thrown off me. I heard how he was being taken out of the room, and then there was silence again.

I was still panting when my master came in again. "Well, you've just met my other slave." he said. "He obviously likes you." I said nothing. He started to explain. "He wants to be a top, but he doesn't know where people's limits are. He's here to learn. To experience the feelings he wants his slaves to have. But he has got a lot to learn." Then he said "I want you to obey him. You are in the position that you should obey everyone here in the house, except when I tell you not to." I didn't like that, I had the feeling that the only thing he wanted to do is to hurt me. He didn't care how I felt. But I said nothing. I had to trust my Master. "Go back to sleep." he said.

When I woke up I still had an aching throat. My master was there to release me. He lead me to a toilet, made me sit down and put his dick in my mouth. And while I was pissing and shitting, he pissed in my mouth. I was still sleepy, and I was a bit dizzy too. Not being able to see anything made it worse. The taste of his piss was really strong. I realized that he was naked. This was the first time I actually was with him that he was not wearing his leather. Then he took to to the shower, and started to wash me. He kept my head dry, preventing the tape over my eyes to get wet. It was a strange feeling, standing there, being blind, having someone to wash me. It was quite tender really. He started to shave me, my cheeks and my head. It obviously turned him on, I could sometimes feel how his hard dick touched my body. I just stood there, helpless, even though I was not tied up. He turned off the water, dried me off, dried himself off, and then put metal handcuffs around my wrists. He took me back to the room where I had been sleeping. I heard how he dressed himself. Then he said "Breakfast, Boy." He pushed me down, I had to kneel on the floor. There was a dogbowl with scrambled eggs and beans on the floor. I went on my knees to the dogbowl and started to eat. No hands, really like a dog. He sat down next to me, I felt his leather boots against my body while I was eating. It tasted well. I was really hungry. It surprised me that actually the situation did make me horny. Me being his dog. I was happy at his feet.

"We're going out, Boy." he said, and got me back on my feet. I felt how he got me back on my feet, and cleaned my face. Then he opened the handcuffs and started to help me into some clothes. It was a leather motorcycle-overall. No clothes underneath. Then I got on some gloves, with no fingers. My collar back around my neck. He put some stuff in my ears that made me almost deaf. Then he placed a motorhelmet on my head. Boots on. And then he took me upstairs. I heard a lot of people talk, I heard motorcycles, but I couldn't hear what they said. I had to sit down behind my master on a motorcycle.

Have you ever been sitting on a motorcycle without seeing anything? It is a weird experience. I didn't see anything and I only heard very little. I concentrated on what i felt: my Master's body. It felt so good to feel him, to sit closely against him, and his leather was smelling so good. It was a nice and warm day, it was all very comfortable. I felt like being on holiday.

Of course I wasn't. After about an hours drive we stopped, and I had to get off the motorcycle. I was standing there and felt how some guy opened my leather overall and took his nipples in his hand. A second man took my balls out, and started to play with him, and my master was holding me, keeping me in position so that the other guys could play with me. It was really rough play, I felt how they put titclamps on my nipples and started to hang weights on the clamps. My balls were being squeezed heavily. I wanted to scream but I felt my master's gloved hand on my dick. Then I felt a stinging pain on my chest around my nipples. Needles! I tried to relax, to stay as calm as possible. I knew that only then the pain would be bearable. From what I felt, about eight needles were being put into my chest. My balls did hurt so much. I almost cried. I pushed my body against his, as long as I felt him behind me, holding me, I could bear it. Then I felt how he took my dick in his gloved hand, and while the other two men tortured my balls and nipples he slowly, very slowly jerked me off. And when I came many people must have heard me......

I was on the floor, my master's boots were resting on me, he was sitting on his motorcycle, on boot on my chest, the other one on my face. The needles were still in my chest, very close to his boots, which did frighten me. I heard sounds of more guys being tortured. I realised that the guys that I met in that little room yesterday morning were here too. I liked the fact that my master spent most of his time with me. Obviously he was satisfied with me. I just wanted him to be satisfied with me, I wanted that so much!

Part 11.

Like last time it was very hard to get home again. I realized that I had to get used to this feeling of coming home after a weekend of very intensive contact with him. Being in my own house, everything seemed so unrealistic. Even though there were visible signs of me being a slave it didn't seem real to me. Being able to walk around, to do what I wanted, to go to work the next morning, it was a bizarre contrast with what I went through this weekend. He had brought me home right after that session in the open air, on the back of his motorcycle. He brought me into my house, released me and took all the leathers with him. He told me to take care of myself, and to be ready for him when he wanted me. Then he left. The first thing I did was take a shower. I was cold. It felt like being cold psychologically, but the shower helped. Then I went to bed, I was very tired. I dreamt of everything that happened. About needles in my body, about being tortured, about my Master's other slave. I had the feeling that from him I would have to endure quite something in the nearby future, and although the guy frightened me, I also got excited about the idea of serving this mad guy that was so ferocious when he got the chance. It was strange not knowing how he looked. I had just experienced his body, I knew he had a big dick and of course I new his head was shaved. Houserule. Somehow the guy fascinated me. Why was he a slave when he wanted to be a topman so badly?

Nasty things were going on at work. My boss had a new girlfriend and he gave her a job at the cafe. Now actually there were to many waiters, and obviously he wanted to get rid of me. I was over thirty so he had to pay me more than all the others who were all eighteen or nineteen. He was actually waiting for an opportunity to fire me. I knew exactly what was going on but I couldn't care less. It was a lousy job. But finding another job would be difficult, I realized that. When I got to work that morning I still felt tired, and I was clumsy. He was annoyed about that, and when I actually dropped a tray full of food and drinks that was his opportunity. He called me into his office, told me that I was not doing my job well (which was nonsense) and that he wanted to fire me. I mentioned that it didn't surprise me because we had to many waiters at the moment, and I smiled as nasty as I could. He didn't appreciate that and told me to leave right now. I left his office, and bumped into the girl that actually got my job. "You better stay in love with him, or you will be unemployed too......" I said before I left. The silly cow didn't understand what I said. I don't thing she was capable of having any bad thoughts about her lover. Well, my career as a waiter was over.

Coming home there was not much I could do. No job meant that there was much time to spend on nothing. It was quite depressing. I was longing to be with my master all the time. I slept many hours but after a couple of days I was not tired anymore. I read many books but got bored with that too. I watched TV. Boring soaps (The Bold and the Beautiful, Santa Barbara, As the world turns, god how deep can one sink, this was more humiliating than my most extreme s&m experience....), endless talkshows, tv quizzes. Then one evening he called me up, and I told him what happened. He promised me to arrange some work for me, cleaning jobs. I tanked him and asked him when I would see him again. He told me he didn't know. "However, I want you to be ready for a friend of mine tonight. That was why I called you. He is a great cock- and balltorturer, I think you'll like him. He has left no instructions except that he likes beer. He'll arrive at eight, prepare yourself like you think is appropriate. He has got a key, don't worry about that. And tomorrow you'll find instructions in your letterbox about some work that needs to be done. So you won't be bored, I promise you that."

Eight o'clock that evening I was sitting on the floor naked, with a collar around my neck and my hands cuffed behind my back. My head towards the floor. He was late. I don't know what time it was when he came in, I think I must have been sitting on the floor for at least an hour and my knees were painful. He turned out to be a great leatherman, not very big, but in breeches, wearing a cap, looking very exciting. He had a goatee and in his hand was a cigar, I found him very exciting. He smiled when he saw me. "Very good." he said. "But not practical." He removed the handcuffs from my wrists and told me to get him a beer. When I came back in the room I found him unpacking a bag with all kind of torture equipment. He ordered me to come and sit on my knees before him. I had to lick his crotch while he took my hands and put leather cuffs around my wrists. Then he connected those with my collar, and then he put me on my matrass. He tied my legs and put an iron bar between them, preventing me from moving my legs. He put an iron chain around the bar, and that was tied up to the cupboard. Then a chain was being connected to my collar, being connected with the radiator of the heating. I couldn't move anymore. Then he started to wrap my head in latex bandages. It was a very erotic sensation, feeling how the latex was being pulled very tight around my head. I couldn't see anything anymore. Titclamps on my chest, pretty painful but they made me very horny. Then very silently he started working on my dick. "You know, you are very lucky." he told me. "You have got permission to shoot tonight, your Master knows that I will let you cum like crazy. But you first have to endure some hours of pretty intensive pain, boy." "Thank you, Sir." I said, and right after that he put a gag in my mouth, preventing me from saying anything more. What happened then I don't know exactly but for about two or three hours all kind of sensations went through my cock and balls. They were being tied up very tightly, the bandages were removed very roughly, causing me to scream, he hit my balls with a whip and he was not very careful, he kicked me, not only in my balls, but everywhere on my body, he whipped my dick too, causing me to scream out loud, which he didn't like, so he sat down on my face. The leather almost caused me to suffocate and my screaming was not much more that a muffled sound. I tried to escape the whip with no succes. He obviously liked how much I suffered because he went on for quite a while. Then I felt how he put something in my dick. I didn't know what it was, it felt a bit like getting a catheter but it was smaller. I realized quickly what it was when I felt some tiny little shocks in my dick: it was a tube that led electricity into my dick. I love electricity, and this was such an intensive feeling that I was moaning, it felt so good. He must have thought that while I was having such a good feeling in my dick I could endure some more tittorture, so he removed the clamps from my tits and replaced them for some very nasty ones, that were biting deep into my flesh. I was so horny that I could handle it very well, and although it was very painful I felt so good. I did want it to go on forever, but I felt that I was about to cum. He must have realized that too because suddenly the electricity stopped, and now the pain in my tits became more serious. Nothing was distracting me from that pain anymore, and I found it very hard to endure. Nothing I could do about it anyway. I lost my hardon, and from the noises I made one could hear that I was not very happy anymore. Then he put on the electricity again. "Thank god" I thought, but this time he turned it on with much more force. At first I liked that but after a while it was maddening! I wanted to cum, I was so horny and it felt like I needed that relief. Of course he didn't let me. This torture went on for a very, very long time.

The next thing that happened was something he wanted me to concentrate on, so he removed the titclamps. I felt a sharp pain going through my dick, and again, and again. He was pushing needles through my dick, and he didn't stop. At first it was very frightening but then I started to get excited about it. "So.....you like that, boy?" he said, as he was working. The worst was not when the needle went in through the skin, but when it went out, pushing against the inside of the skin of my cock. Sometimes a very sharp wave of pain made me scream, it was frightening, but he turned out to be very experienced. Then he started to do something else. The pain I experienced was changing, he was now concentrating on my foreskin, and sometimes it felt like a knife was cutting through my flesh. After a while I realized what he was doing. He was stitching my foreskin, sewing me. It was a crazy feeling. Then he started to remove the needles, but when that was finished he pushed some new ones in, now horizontally, in the length of my dick. Then he went away to get himself another beer. He removed my gag, and put his dick into my mouth, and started pissing. I swallowed eagerly, all the screaming had made me thirsty too. His piss was not very strong, but it was a lot. It tasted good. Then he replaced the gag into my mouth. He took my dick in his hand, played with it until it was hard again. I felt my dick pushing against the skin. Then I felt how he connected the wired of his tense unit to the needles in my dick, and how he switched it on. This was incredible. I got so horny, my dick was very hard, and I felt the flesh being pushed against the needle, which was painful but not unbearable. Soon I felt how I was about to cum again, and he switched of the electricity again. He started to play with my nipples, quite mean. Then after ten minutes or so he switched the electricity on again. This time he did leave it on when I was about to cum. I got so horny, and I came, but then something very strange happened: My cum couldn't come out of my dick. My cock was pulsing madly to get it out but nothing happened. Ever had an orgasm of 10 minutes? After a while it was really frightening me. It was so intense, I believe I was crying, and he was sitting next to me, his hand on my chest, enjoying what he saw.

Part 12.

Work, the work my master arranged for me. I found a note with an adress where I had to go, in order to clean the house. I expected all kind of sexual things, but it was the flat of an old woman. She was very friendly, and told me that she was happy that her son arranged some help for her because she had been ill. So here I was, cleaning the bathroom of my Master's mother. Her coffee was good, she was really nice to me and told me she was looking forward to my next visit. I saw a picture of my Master, in a business suit. It was a recent picture, and God, he was beautiful!

The next day, a note again. Another adress. This time it was a house of one of his friends, quite dusty but nothing exciting. The friend was working, behind his computer, he let me in but he didn't say a word to me, as long as I was there.

Every day I had to go somewhere else. Different houses, but never anything that reminded me of my sexual identity as a slave. I just had to work, clean things up, and then I had to go home.

Then one evening, when I was home and laying on my matrass, I heard a key in the lock. A young man came in, completely bald. He closed the door, and walked into my bedroom. A big grin on his face. "Hello fellow slave" he said. I immediately understood who he was: the other slave of my Master, the guy who abused me so roughly when I was tied up in the basement of His house. "I need some relief, buddy." he said, and sat down on my sofa. He was dressed up in a bomber jacket and leather jeans and shiny boots. I didn't like him but he did excite me, he was very goodlooking. He opened his pants, and took out his big dick. I knew what he wanted, so on my knees I went up to him, and took his meat in my mouth. Immediately he started to piss. I now had had enough training to swallow it all without problems. Then he pushed his dick further back in my throat and started to fuck me in my mouth. He was rough, and he obviously liked the sounds I made in my efforts to please him. It was hard, I now and then felt that I almost had to throw up. He took my nipples in his hands, and started to play with it. He was not as mean as he was the other night, he now really knew how to excite me. I really got a hardon in my jeans. He didn't tell me to open my pants. He knew the rules: I was not allowed tomplay with my dick, i was not allowed to shoot my cum. He stood up from the sofa, walked into my bedroom and came back with a collar. It was put around my neck tightly. Then he put his foot between my legs, and started to increase the pressure on my balls. I moaned. "You like that?" he asked, and I said "Yes Sir." "You want to suffer for me too, buddy?" Again: "Yes Sir." He smiled. "You know, I don't have permission to play with you really hard. But I will stay here with you this night, and remind you permanently of the fact that you have to obey me too. Hold you, play with your nipples and balls, keep you terribly horny and make you feel that you are a slave. You like that, boy?" "Yes Sir, please stay with me tonight, Sir!" I said. "Okay, boy. Then go to your room, strip and lay on your bed until I come in." he said. I heard how he switched on the TV while I left the room. I stepped out of my jeans, which were the only clothes I was wearing, and did like he told me. Obviously he saw something on TV that was interesting for him because he let me wait for a very long time. Then he came in, and smiled when he looked at me. "Very good" he said, and put his jacket on a chair. "Allright, let's prepare you for a long night." he said, and opened the cupboard with all my S&M-equipment. He found a rubber hood, without eyes, and put it over my head. He put leather cuffs around my writst and tied them to the collar. It was tight allready, but if I moved my arms I felt how the collar pushed against my throat. Then I felt how he put something in my dick. A catheter! It made me so horny. Obviously the end of the tube was closed because I felt the urge to piss, but there was no way I could do it. Then I felt how he started to tie up my cock and balls tightly. He tied my legs up tightly to, and then I felt how he started to push some liquid into my bladder through the catheter. The pressure that built up in my bladder was enourmous. "You know what that is, buddy? That is my piss, my strong yellow piss, and it is in your bladder now, because you are my toilet slave." The idea made me really horny. I felt how he put a gag in my mouth, I could breath through my nose, the gag had a tube, and I could breath through the tube too when he let me, but he was keeping it closed almost all the time. He was doing something with the tube, and when I felt how he did something with the tube of the catheter too, I understood what was going to happen: I was going to drink the contents of my own bladder, my piss and his. When I tasted it, it was very strong, the pressure on my bladder was gone, and I was swallowing as hard as I could, which was more difficult because of the gag. Then I felt how he layed himslef next to me. "Okay buddy, let's go to sleep." he said, and I felt how he pushed the blankets over the two of us. Sleep. No way. I was bloody excited. I heard his calm breathing, realised that he was trying to sleep and that nothing was going to happen anymore, so I tried to sleep, not to think about the permanent connection between my bladder and my mouth, not to think about my tied up cock and balls and the collar around my neck. And after about 15 minutes i felt I calmed down and I started to feel drowsy. Then he started to play with my nipples, making me bloody horny again, and when he felt my dick was hard again his hands stopped. I sighed. Tried to relax again, and the same process repeated itself. Every time when I felt that I was getting drowsy and able to sleep, his hands appeared somewhere on my body, squeezing my balls, my nipples, caressing my neck. It was maddening. I so much enjoyed his hands, I so much wanted him to go on. Then I realised that he was getting up, to get something. I felt his hand between my legs, he was lubricating my arse and I felt a dildo slipping in. He pushed it far into my arse and then I felt something wonderful in my arse. It was a big and strong vibrator. I was enjoying this feeling very much. But then I heard him say: "If I have to keep you awake all night I won't have any sleep my self. So I have chosen to let this little machine do the work for me for some hours. Good night, slaveboy." He took me in his arms. I felt that he was still wearing his leather pants in bed. The leather felt good against my legs. Then I felt how the vibrator stopped. I tried to fall asleep, but after what must have been fifteen minutes the vibrator started again, for some minutes. I realised that this was going to be a long, long night. I tried to enjoy it, I concentrated on his strong arms around me, the smell of his male body, his sweath, the sensation of his leathers against my legs. Sometimes he moved, at one moment I felt his arm around my neck, making breathing hard. This made me even more horny. And every fifteen minutes the vibrator shoot waves of pleasure through my body. Sometimes I felt some piss coming into my mouth. And he breathed quietly. I was tired, but I felt so happy I could cry.